Brethren and Sistren,
Sometimes there's a man.
Sometimes there's a man, who has to take a stand.
A stand for something he believes in. A stand for something in the face of what he thinks is NOT right. A stand for something in opposition of the social norm. A stand for something...
That man was Tim Ellenich. That something was mustaches.
Five years ago, Tim Ellenich spearheaded a movement to "Bring Back the Mustache for the Young Man." The rally-cry was heard and the 1st Annual HOBO Mustache Contest was born. It quickly became a complete success. Mustaches of all shapes, sizes and colors were sported for one magical night on November 24th, 2004 at HOBO HQ. Justin Bravatto bravely walked away with the title of the Undisputed HOBO World Mustache Champion. He rode his Donnie Brasco style mustache to first place under unrelenting pressure from Tim Ellenich himself and the man who showed us what TRUE mustache bravery was all about, Ryan Brown.
The 2005 the HOBO World Mustache Championship II took place on November 23rd, 2005 and saw the official venue change to where it currently resides, our beloved V. Some may say that it was a down year for mustaches. But the competitors of 2005 showed that the heartiest mustaches grow in coldest of winters, as a blizzard blanketed the entire U.P. and even prevented the former champion from driving down the road without totaling his Blazer. Andrew Gregas and his miniature Doc Holiday 'stache took home the title in a close race for the favor of the sparse crowd in attendance.
HWMC III was an unseasonably warm day on November 22nd, 2006 that saw a then-record number of competitors and spectators to the V for some good old-fashioned mustache-watching fun. This was a banner year for the HWMC as it saw the beginning of Tom Ruppe as our official Master of Ceremonies, the unveiling of the UHWMC Title Belt, and our own My Giant teleconferencing into the event from 500 miles away to compete. Some may say that 2006 was the year of the fiercest mustaches to date and certainly a level of lip-hair growth that HOBOs have never seen before. JJ Johnson and his Burly Fu-Manchu was ultimately crowned the champion and was the first to have the honor of wearing the Title Belt for an entire year.
Last year, the HOBO World Mustache Championship IV was a spectacle not to be missed. On November 21st, 2007, for the first time people anywhere in the world could tune into the internet and view the HOBO mustaches in all their follicled glory. A stage, a camera, a microphone, 3 judges, and a whole lot of mustachioed HOBOs put on the grandest mustache show that Bessemer has ever seen. Aaron Schenk won the crowd over with his dynamic stage presence and dyed-blond Hogan 'stache, at the sacrifice of only one of Showstoppa's shirts. He is the current holder of the UWHMC Title Belt.
This year, anyone and everyone is encouraged to stop by the V and vote for your 3 favorite mustaches. The beer is cheap, the bathrooms are clean and they have free popcorn. So there's really no reason not to attend. There will be a live vote, an online vote, a text vote, and perhaps a few mustache appearances teleconferenced in.
Who will win it this year? No one has ever gone back-to-back UWHM Champ. Will the Fu Manchu mustache continue to dominate? Or have the fickle tastes of the crowd changed? Will Tim Ellenich ever gain the elusive title that he founded? Will Dan Giles finally get some respect? Or will Tim Ormes come out of nowhere and surprise everyone this year?
Join us on November 26th, 2008 at the V to find out.
The HOBO World Mustache Championship V at the V:
Too late, too late will be the cry when the man with the mustache has passed you by.
It's not too late to start growing your mustache but if you haven't started growing by now, then you don't stand a Mott's chance in dance-off, of even beating C-Gar out for a vote.
Oh yes, and there are are few surprise up our sleeves for this year's event...
You are NOT going to want to miss it!
Sometimes there's a man. Sometimes there's a man...
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